Marriage, Harleys, and Us

Written by Gary Taylor

The first time I sat down with an engaged couple to offer premarital counseling was when I was a bachelor.  Looking back, I kinda feel sorry for Kevin and Maria; it must have been like having a vegan tell them how to barbeque a filet. 

Don't misunderstand me.  I prepared by studying and reading a lot on the subject of marriage, but I had ZERO experience.  Up to that point my longest relationship was with my Harley.

Hopefully they don't look back on it and view it as a total loss.  (Hey, all these years later, they are still married!)  There was, without a doubt, something significant missing in my sessions with them.  Not once could I say to them, "This is us."  There was no "us."  All I had were stories about "This is me."

I still don't know a lot about marriage.  But I can say with certainty that there is a HUGE difference between "me" and "us."  Marriage is most troublesome when it becomes about me.  Conversely, marriage is most fulfilling when we talk about "us".

Ya see, "us" described the oneness and unity God had in mind in that inaugural, Garden marriage.  And the oneness of "us" is still the bulls-eye we are aiming for today.

But sometimes our marriages are off target.  The bulls-eye of oneness eludes even a well-aimed, Cupid-like arrow.  We can easily (and even quietly) slip into This is Me.  Sometimes we need to be reminded of the good and the hope of a This-is-Us marriage.  (And it helps to hear about it from someone other than a naïve bachelor.)

"This is us" is the name of our Marriage Conference here at Central.  It's the evening of Friday, February 10 and during the day on Saturday the 11th.  We titled it "This is Us" mainly to acknowledge that we each find ourselves at different stages of oneness and us-ness in marriage.  We intend for this 2-day marriage experience to meet you where you are, whether you are your "best us" or your "worst us."

At the conference you can expect a relaxed, fun, and immensely inspiring experience.  We are intentionally creating a man-friendly (and woman-friendly) atmosphere.  Instead of cheesy and sappy, we are striving for real and honest.  Even gritty, at times.  A place where you will be invited to wade in only as deep as you choose to wade in (or dive in). A comfortable place for you to acknowledge, "This is Us."

Register right now via this link: This Is Us

If you have questions, you can also find me this Sunday at the Next Steps Table.

By the way, remember me saying I was in a long-term relationship with my motorcycle?  When Beth and I had engagement photos taken, she gave a thumbs-up for including the Harley.  Because "This is Us".